👩Love👩‍🦳

🙍

 After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, “I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.”

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who had been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my 3 children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

“What’s wrong, are you well?” she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

“I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,” I responded. “Just the two of us.”

She thought about it for a moment, and then said, “I would like that very much.”

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an Angel’s. “I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,” she said, as she got into the car. “They can’t wait to hear about our meeting.”

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. “It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,” she said. “Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation — nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other’s life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, “I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.” I agreed.

“How was your dinner date?” Asked my wife when I got home.

“Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,” I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn’t have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place where mother and I had dined. An attached note said: “I paid this bill in advance. I wasn’t sure that I could be there; but nevertheless I paid for two plates — one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me.”

“I love you, son.”

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: “I love you,” and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till “some other time.”

👩‍🏫👩‍🎓👩‍⚖Women👧👩👸

 TO THE women WHO IS SLOWLY FADING AWAY...

To the women who has lost their spark.

To the people whose get up and go, has well and truly gone.

This is for you.

This is to remind you, that you don’t have to be everything to everyone, every day.

You didn’t sign up for that.

Remember when you used to laugh? Sing?

Throw caution to the wind?

Remember when you used to forgive yourself more quickly for not always being perfect.

You can get that back again.

You really can.

And that doesn’t have to mean letting people down or walking away.

It just means being kinder to you, feeling brave enough to say no sometimes.

Being brave enough to stop sometimes.

And rest.

It starts the moment you realise that you’re not quite who you used to be.

Some of that is good, some of that is not.

There are parts of you that need to be brought back.

And if anyone in your life is not okay with that… they are not your people. Your people will be glad to see that spark starting to light up again.

So, if you have been slowly fading away my friend, this is the time to start saying yes to things that bring you joy and no to things that don’t.

It’s really pretty simple.

Donna Ashwoth words.

𝑨𝒕𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒅𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕- Real world

 

When my daughter wed and left home, I felt a part of me left.  With a daughter and a son, I was very happy in my life. When she

was in her teens, I felt as if she was my "physical extension" .

So when she left home to set up her own home, I felt I lost a limb from my body. Next time she came to stay with us for a few days, I was astonished how her priorities had changed. We too must have given the same shocks to our own parents. While she was talking to me, she used the word "Amma" (mother). But that word was not for me. That word referred her "mother in law".

I felt she was always in a hurry to go back to her house and not stay with me for a few more days. That was the first time, I understood that I have to start practicing detachment with attachment.

Two years after my daughter’s marriage, my son left for higher studies to US. Having experienced a child's separation once, I was better equipped emotionally. I became busy with various classes held in the city related to vedanta.

I just wanted to be away from home. Because my husband was a 24/7 workaholic. My son used to write how he was missing my home and the food cooked by me and how he was waiting to come back to live in Chennai with us.

After a few years, he did come back and we got him married. He started living separately with his wife and we were also happy that they wanted to be independent from the beginning. But now, it was all changed !

In the USA, he missed my cooking, now if I called him my home with his wife for a meal, he always says an excuse like "oh, amma, we have other plans for the day, please don't mistake us, if we don't come today" ! I could see that his priorities had also changed completely. We talk so many things and give so much advice to others, but when it comes to our own children, acceptance comes very late.

Our next step is to just leave them undisturbed in every way. It was at that time, that I made the following, my 'new profile'. In all my relationships, I give my best and do my best to live up to what I say. My attachment with them is complete. However, I remain detached in the sense that I do not expect them to reciprocate my affection. I love them too much. But I decided not to expect the same degree of love from them.

Most importantly, I make a conscious effort , not to interfere or pass judgements on the lives they choose to lead. My concern for my beloved people will not fade with my detachment. If you let go of the ones you love, they will never go away – this is the beauty of attachment with detachment !

I have learnt to love and let go. This principle has developed tolerance in me. When I let the people live the way they want to, I learn to accept them for what they are. 

Most importantly, I learn to tolerate the world around me and this tolerance brings in me a sense of peace and satisfaction. Since both my children live in Chennai, I follow this very strictly, you know why ! Now I have realised that we start growing mentally much more only after the children leave the house and we have to tackle the emotional vacuum, that arises, along with age-related problems .

I specially dedicate this post to my friends, who are totally dependent on their children's lives, to nurture their own selves emotionally.  Please develop your own interests, hobbies etc, however ordinary they seem to be. 

We must learn to love whatever we do instead of Doing whatever we love !!

Author:  Sudha Murthy, Chairperson, Infosys Foundation

👩‍⚕️👩‍🏫👩‍🎤👱‍♀️WOMEN ARE PRICELESS! 👧👩‍🎓👩‍🎨🤰

She wakes up by 4am but 
You sleep back, she will move straight to the kitchen. She would join morning devotion by 5:30am, start preparing kids by 6:00am, serve everybody food by 7am, take the kids to school and move to her office by 7:30am, go for school runs by 2pm.

She would come back to the house by 5-6pm, start washing of clothes and cooking dinner by 6pm. Serve dinner by 7:30pm, start home work for kids by 8-9pm, Shower and meet you the husband in the room by 9:30pm, discuss with you and catch fun so that you will be in the mood for sex.

And you the husband with your big head will sleep like a king, She will get up to check on the children if they are sleeping well, off the light, Start praying for you and the family by 12am -1am.. 

Sleep a little and wake up again by 4am to start all over again...

And yet we don't respect the ladies in our lives..  change your ways.
Good women are to be celebrated.

Sometimes I feel nature is unfair to you.
But you are a miracle.

It's you who bleeds blood every month with severe pains and crams. Even in those pains, you still have to put things together for a normal day. The cooking, washing, etc.

It's you who carry another human inside you for 9months. The inconvenience, the discomfort, the sacrifice, and carefulness. You sacrifice what makes you happy just to keep another life healthy. 

When it's time to deliver, your life is on the line. It's a 50/50 chance for you. You may live and you may die. But being the life-giver you are, you will choose the life of a new stranger over yours. Even the process is not favorable to you. Either the pains of childbirth or surgery. 

After it all, you still carry yourself up and continue life activities with bandage and pains. But what is miraculous about this all is the smile you put on your face while facing all this.

May God bless every woman out there.
Good women are to be celebrated.

Via: The Pink Revolution.

What kind of children are we creating???

A few weeks ago, I had attended a birthday party of my daughter’s friend. There they played a game, the age old ‘Passing the parcel’, however, what was different was the way it was played. The child who was caught with the parcel when the music stopped was asked to leave the circle, but with that parcel as the gift, and then a new parcel was introduced. The game continued till every child got a gift. I asked the mother what was wrong with the earlier version, the version we had all grown up with.

She said – “I do not like kids to be disappointed. See, here every child is happy as he or she gets to take a gift home.”

In another instance, I was in the park with my daughter. She was playing lock and key with her friends. Now, one of her friends fell down. Her mother, who was on the other side of the park ran to his son, all confused and upset. She scooped her son in her lap and started inquiring – “Are you hurt? Let me see! Do no cry! Shush, mama is here.”

The child, had a scraped knee, who was perfectly OK till then, started crying earnestly.

I was at a friend’s home for lunch. Her 5-year old daughter refused to eat what was cooked for lunch. My friends felt so guilty that her daughter would go hungry, that she cooked up her favourite pasta immediately. According to her, it was not the first time this had happened.

At the School Sports Day, there are no races, no competition. No first, second or runner ups. Because, everyone is equal, there should be no competition between the kids.

Kids today have a room full of toys and games. Some they ask, some they do not. But, they still get them.

Everything in excess is the new mantra of life.

Our parents taught us self-reliance, while we hover around our children and want to protect them at all costs. We like to hold our babies closer to the protection of the nest. We go out of our way and rustle up something when they don’t eat what’s cooked at home for everyone else, because we don’t them to sleep hungry. Instead of letting them play outside, we organize activities for them. We do their homework and their assignments. We even resolve their conflicts for them.

It makes me wonder, what will happen to these kids when they grow up?

Will they get a gift everytime they fail? Will they be able to handle disappointment? A child who has never been denied anything, how will he cope with rejections? There are a growing number of cases when kids run away from home or commit suicide because they are not able to deal with low marks in examinations or when they fail to secure an admission in an institution of their choice.

Will their parents keep them hidden in their bosom all their life? Our mothers never ran after us, a scraped knee was just that. She would ask us to wash it with some water and then forget about it. But, there was no drama that followed.

Falling and hurting was a part of daily life for us. We cycled, climbed up trees and jumped from the stairs. Today, kids travel in elevators and escalators (because they might fall down the stairs and get themselves hurt). Earlier, kids walked and cycled. I hardly see kids walking nowadays, unless it’s for a kids’ marathon and they are required to pose for selfies with their cool mommies.

Will they shy away from competition or be able to survive it? OK, so we can accompany our kids till the college gate and sit in the waiting area while they appear for a job interview. 

A child who is never used to losing – how will he survive in the big bad world?

We are raising our kids to be adult babies.

So what should we do?

Stop telling our children that they are special all the time. They are not, at least not always. So reserve the praises for the times when they actually deserve.

Stop going out of the way to create happiness in their life. The life is a mix of joys and sorrows, and it is for a reason. We have no right to interfere with the nature. So let’s stop pretending that everything is all right when it’s not. Let the kids have their fair share of disappointments at an early age. It’s better to fall at 10, than at 40 !!

Being women

Every woman has a past. Some were physically abused. Some had violent parents. Some had pubertal issues. Some had sexual abuse as a child from their own family members. Some had messed up love stories. Some had been forced into sex in the name of love. Some had been drugged. Some were date raped. Some had been viciously photographed on bed. Some had been blackmailed by their ex-boyfriend. Some were in an abusive relationship. Some had menstrual problems. Some had a broken family. Some had a divorce. Some had an obesity issue. Some had financial droughts. Some had drug or alcohol addiction. Some had a few unsuccessful suicide attempts.

If you see a woman, who went through any of these but had already wiped her tears, tied her hair up, masked her sorrows with a divine smile, stood tall and strong, started walking towards her future because she still has some hope left inside her and has not given up on the concept of love that still exists in this world, do not stab her with her past. Do not confront her. Do not slap her with more abuse. Give way for her and walk beside her. May be hold her hands and walk for a while. You'll know how sweet that soul is and how strong her hopes are! You'll be amazed at how she carries herself after all her energy has been sucked out.

She need not always be only the woman next door or from a different home. She could be your own friend, your own sister, your own girlfriend, your own wife, even may be your own mother. 
Do not judge her by her past. Gift her the peaceful future that she deserves. Hold her hands against the world, which knows only to judge. Give her the love that she always yearned for...!!!

Strong and deterministic women

She got late at office that day and she
had to go home alone.

She started walking towards the auto
stand

But it was too late, she had to
wait for an auto.

She felt like someone was
following her

she turned back and 'Bhoo' he said.
She got scared and he laughed out loud.

Her office colleague it was.

"I'm here because
I can't let you walk alone
towards the auto stand and don't worry

I'll b with you till you get an auto.
You are my responsibility" he said.

After ten minutes of wait,

An auto came but no passenger was in
there.

She knew that this
could probably be the last auto to pass by.

She looked in an uncomfortable manner At
th auto driver.

"Don't worry sister, I'll drop you at your
home safely.

You are my responsibility" the auto
driver said.

She sat in.

Her home was in a dark lane,
she had to walk almost five minutes in the
lane to reach her
home.

She entered the lane and a mid-aged man
was smoking and looking at her.

It was a neighbour.

He threw the cigarette and said
"Come i'll walk with you till you
reach home.

Don't worry beti you are like my
daughter only.

You are my responsibility"

The girl finally reached home safely.

Everytime i gave a pause in the write up,

you must have felt that something wrong
will happen.

This fear is what our society has given us.
It will no longer have an existance if
every man be like that office colleague or
the auto driver or the neighbour.

𝐓𝐨 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞:⁣⁣
⁣⁣
1. Take care of your health. Spend time n money on maintaining yourself. ⁣⁣
⁣
2. Learn to be independent. Its perfectly ok to not earn, but its important to be independent. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
3. Learn to ride that bike or drive that car. You don't always need an escort! ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
4. Learn about investments and taxes. Its not necessary to have someone else manage your savings n earnings.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
5. Plan and save for your own gifts n desires. You don't always need a husband or your dad to buy you something you love. Gift yourself! ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
6. Take equal responsibility of your parents. Its not acceptable to expect everything from your brother every time. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
7. Let the father take care of the unwell child once in a while. Your career is equally important and the father is equally responsible. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
8. Its ok if the kitchen platform is exceptionally unclean or sink is full of dirty vessels. Relax n take that break! ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
9. Help the other woman, even if you dont like her. You never know what her battles are. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
10. Its ok to get on well with inlaws! Not every family needs to have a saas-bahu drama. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
11. Have some friends (men and women) beyond your husband's group, Its ok ! Spend some time away from family with your friends. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
12. Its ok to not cry. Not all women need to be sentimental all the time ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
13. When things go wrong, try to be balanced and find way out of your problems. You don't need to play the victim. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
14. Find time to read and keep yourself updated.⁣⁣
 ⁣⁣
15. Raise independent, caring and health conscious kids. Make all family members equally accountable and responsible. ⁣⁣
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16. Create different girlie groups. Share your problems, seek opinions but finally take your own decision and stick to it.⁣
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17. Spend some time  doing what you like, even if its just sitting idle. Dont feel guilty because others feel its worthless. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
18. Believe in yourself, or noone else will.⁣
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19. Remember, you have a voice, use it!⁣
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20. Have a dream, and don’t sacrifice it for anyone! ⁣




Share so every woman reads this! 🙂

Dear friends, like your sister, mother and
wife are your responsibilities,
'She' is your responsibility too.
Understand if you can.


Regards,
Esther