Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Friday 21 June 2024

💑 Stages of Marriage 👫

 THE DIFFERENT STAGES OF MARRIAGE.



1. THE AMAZEMENT STAGE: This is the "wow" stage. Lots of new things to discover with your spouse. The newness, the freshness is so amazing. Sleeping on the same bed, wearing the same attire, cooking for him, doing house chores with her, bathing together. Wearing your dazzling wedding ring everywhere, turning people's head at the newest couple around. Loads and lots of fun. Sexual exploration and excitement. Being in control of your kitchen, feeding him and lots more. It's the honeymoon stage and it's so so beautiful.


2. THE IRRITATION STAGE: This is when you begin to notice weaknesses you have overlooked or blissfully wish they go away but didn't. The repetition of such weaknesses begins to work on your nerves and you are getting irritated: he snores a lot, she is slow in the kitchen, she belches loudly, he screams unnecessarily, she won't bathe before coming to bed or shave, he spends many hours watching football and ignores you when you talk. "What's just wrong with this guy?" You think aloud, well it's part of marriage.


3. THE ANGER STAGE: This is when the repetition of such weaknesses gets on your nerves and you display your anger. The introverted partners stuffs it in and either keep malice, avoid you or stubbornly continue with the irritating habit. It's the stage you begin to wonder: "have I really married the wrong guy?" "Have I married the wrong woman?" No, you did not, you are simply going through a phase together.


4. THE RESOLUTION STAGE: When you both begin to face the reality of marriage and acknowledge your partner's weaknesses. You eventually realize anger and malice does not solve any problem and begins to find ways to deal with your differences, both of you begin to compromise here and there and adjust to each other.


5. THE ACCEPTANCE STAGE: When it dawned on you that some things are just part of your partner and may never change. You resigned from anger, abuse and quarrel and choose to accept them, lovingly adjust to them and enjoy them regardless of their weaknesses.


6. THE RESTFUL STAGE:This is the stage you permanently accept them with all their strengths, weaknesses, short comings and flaws and love them unconditionally regardless of what they do. This is real love -agape, divine and true. You reconnect emotionally, spiritually and physically at a deeper level and enjoy honey moon again while building a lasting marriage regardless of the challenges you face.


There is no perfect marriage. Every marriage goes through this stages. How you handle it will determine if you will come out bitter or better.

You don't have to abuse your spouse or keep malice if God is at the centre of your home and you obey the word of God daily.

Nevertheless, do not be disappointed if you go through the unpleasant stages in marriage. It is a phase and will surely end.


Handle your marriage with wisdom and keep loving regardless of the challenges you face. That is what will make your marriage a heaven on earth experience. Thanks for reading.

Wednesday 15 July 2020

*The Parable of the Coffee Bottle*



A young couple had neighbours who were senior citizens, the husband around 80 years old, and the wife about 5 years younger. 

The young couple were very fond of the elderly couple and made it a point to visit them and have coffee with them every Sunday.

They observed that the old lady would bring the coffee bottle to her husband to be opened, every time.

The thoughtful young man gifted the lady a gadget, without her husbands knowledge, to easily open the bottle, and showed her how to use it.

On their next visit, the old lady once again brought the bottle for her husband to open! The young couple was amazed! Had she forgotten about the gadget?! 

When the opportunity arose to be alone with the old lady, they quizzed her about this. Her reply made them speechless......

She said: "Oh, I can open the bottle myself, even without your gadget! But I get him to open it so he feels he is still stronger than I am and thus the man of our home.......that he remains useful to me as always; that I still depend on him; that togetherness is the main ingredient of any marriage....we don't have many more years of life in us, and togetherness is of utmost importance......"

*Moral*: Never underestimate the wisdom of the elderly. Our parents/grandparents may not be bringing in money any longer, but their guidance alone is priceless. You may have a fruitless tree in your garden, but at least it gives you shade......you will not cut it off, now, will you? Looking after the elderly and infirm should be looked upon as a *blessing*.

Thursday 31 October 2019

First - things -first


👌👌👌

I got married at 25, finished my PhD at 27 and became a Professor at 40.

So fast you see! Yes, everything around me worked fast. It is now that I realise that it was a misplaced priority.

My ambition blindfolded me and I got it all wrong, that is why I am sharing my experience through this medium to warn and encourage our young mothers not to be careless as I was back then.

I worked very hard as a lecturer and as an administrator, always so busy that it became my language to my children...."I'm busy"

My mum was around to nurse the children for me for some time. The moment they clocked ten, I sent them to boarding schools, though my husband was not in support of this. I always found my way.

I had no warm relationship with my children, 2 boys and a girl.

I never knew it was a bad idea not to have time for my husband, children and the household, until 5 years ago, when guilt, loneliness and restlessness filled my heart.

I sent for my children to rejoice with me on my 60th birthday.

The two boys, living in Canada said they are "busy" and that their sister will come down from South Africa.

Two days to my birthday, my daughter sent this message to me, "Mum, I am very sorry not to be around over there, there is no time to squeeze out, my husband needs my attention at his newly established clinic and presently, I'm pregnant. "I'm very very busy,
I'm also lonely in a strange land. Please pray for us mum. Happy birthday". I could not recover from the meaning I got from the message.. "First-things-First". When they needed me for warmth and discussion, I was not available, now I needed them for warmth and discussion I could not get them, rather they returned my slogan back to me, "I'm busy"

To worsen the matter, my dear husband died in his sleep a month after. ...Only one of the children came ​without​ his family to the burial ceremony.

I was dumbfounded!!! Considered Opinion: it is good to work and be a hard working fellow.
But hear this important and salient truth:

Parenting is sacrificial work, give it all it takes. Avoid any work that will take away your attention too much from your home - Avoid it and be careful!

SOLIDIFY YOUR HOME FIRST, CREATE TIME FOR YOUR SPOUSE AND CHILDREN.

ESTABLISH THE FEAR OF GOD IN THEIR HEARTS THROUGH YOUR ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOUR.

THOUGH IT IS COSTLY NOW, THE FUTURE REWARD IS WORTH IT.


THIS IS AN EYE OPENER FOR BOTH MEN & WOMEN.

LET'S BE SELFLESSLY AVAILABLE WHEN OUR CHILDREN NEED US.



Source : unknown

Tuesday 7 July 2015

WORDS FROM A FATHER TO A SON ABOUT MARRIAGE



*  My son, if you keep spending on a woman and she never asked you if you’re saving or investing, and she keeps enjoying the attention, don’t marry her.
* My son, a woman could be a
good wife to you, some could be a good mother to your children but if you’ve found a woman like a mother to you, your children and your family, please don’t let her go.
* My son, don’t confine the position of your wife to the kitchen, where did you get that from? Even in our days, we had farm-lands where they worked every morning . . . that was our office.
*  My son, if I tell you that you’re the head of the house, don’t look at your pocket; look if you will see a smile on your wife’s face.
*  My son, if you want to have a long life, let your wife be in- charge of your salary, it will be difficult for her to spend it when she’s aware of the home needs and bills to pay but if it’s in your care, she will keep you asking even when all has been spent.
*  My son, don’t ever beat your woman, the pain in her body is nothing to be compared to the wound on her heart and that means you may be in trouble living with a wounded woman.
*  My son, now that you’re married, if you live a bachelor kind of life with your wife, you will soon be single again.
*  My son, in our days, we had
many wives and many children because of our large farm- lands and many harvests, there are hardly any land for farming anymore, so embrace your woman closely.
* . My son, under the cocoa tree that I did meet your mother could be your eateries and restaurants of nowadays, but remember, the closet thing we did there was to embrace each other.
*  My son, don’t be carried away when you start making more money, instead of
spending on those tiny legs that never knew how hard you worked to get it, spend it on that woman that stood by you all along.
*  My son, remember, when you say your wife has changed, there could be something you’ve stopped doing too.
*  My son, your mother rode the bicycle with me before I bought that tortoise car
outside there, any woman that won’t endure with you in your little beginning should not enjoy your riches.
* . My son, don’t compare your wife to any woman, there are ways she’s enduring you too and has she ever compared you to any man?
*  My son, there is this thing you people call feminism, well, if a woman claim to have equal right with you in the house,
divide all the bills into two equal parts, take one part and ask her to start paying the other part.
*  My son, I didn’t send your sisters to school because I was foolish like many to think a female child won’t extend my
family name, please don’t make that mistake, the kind of female achievers I see nowadays has made the male-gender an ordinary tag.
*. My son, your mother have once locked up the cloth I was wearing and almost tore it because she was angry, I did not raise my hand to beat her because of a day like this, so that I can be proud to tell you that I never for once beat your mother.
*  My son, in our days, our women had more of natural beauty, though I wouldn’t lie to you, some had minor painting of their appellation mostly on their arms, the ones you people now call tattoo, but don’t forget that they didn’t expose any part of their body like your women of nowadays.
*  My son, your mother and I are not interested in what happens in your marriage, try to handle issues without always coming to us.
*  My son, remember I bought your mother’s first sewing machine for her, help your wife achieve her dreams just as you’re pursuing yours.
*. My son, don’t stop taking care of me and your mother, so that your children will take care of you too

⛪Get ready for second coming ✝️

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