COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS !

!! 

Count your blessings!!! Merlyn's Dad taught her this. She teaches me the same, every single day.

Merlyn is a strong and vibrant person. Someone, who would never sit and grieve for any sort of Trouble. She trained herself to be strong even from a very early age and all she practiced in life is how to laugh out one’s pain.

A few things, Merlyn taught me during the wonderful days we spent together…

How to try and be strong even when there is pain and suffering,

How to try and be happy even when things are not favorable,

How to love life even if Life deceives

Merl is a very very positive person. After her diagnosis of Aplastic Anemia, we were initially shattered. It took us a while to even understand and accept what was going on but it is Merlyn’s strength that took us through.  “Why Me?” was a question that was bothering her initially, instead she transformed herself and started questioning “Why should anyone?” Even during weekly treatments, she would bring cookies and chocolates to fellow patients. She started appreciating the beauty of even tiny things. Being the youngest patient at the hospital, everyone remembers Merl as the young lady with the beautiful smile. 

Merl always believes in ‘Sharing our blessings’. She keeps saying sharing our blessings is more important than sharing our sorrows. Her simple motto in life is "Everyone is equally blessed". If someone is blessed with more goodness, the only reason God did that is because He believes that they will share those extra blessings with the less fortune ones. That is the trust God has in us.

Even after her diagnosis, Merl signed up as an organ donor and she inspired me to enroll as well. Merl donated her hair for kids who suffered from cancer. Merlyn’s corneas are donated. I am hoping someone’s eyesight will be restored soon because of her. Again, this is something that she wanted to do. I just helped in fulfilling her dream.

 

Merlyn was receiving weekly blood/platelet transfusions for almost 4 years. Friends who saw her for the first time could never guess that she was going through something like this. During her transfusions, I would be sitting by her side talking to her, giving her company. But, one day, she says this. “Who are these folks donating blood and platelets for me every week?  What is the need for them to share their blessings?” And asks me why don’t you try donating blood so someone like me, on the other side of the donation, would feel so happy?"  Ever since, I started donating blood and platelets every 3 months. I can proudly say I am a registered organ donor, blood donor and stem cell donor. It's all because of my super girl.

Some of our friends asked why you guys don’t take support from family/friends. Honestly, with Merl by my side, I never felt the need of someone else's support. In fact I took it as an opportunity to love her more, to take care of her more. Love, Care, Respect, we feel them while receiving. We feel more, while giving. Giving abundantly. Overflowing just like rain.  

Merl has got a lot of older friends from hospital in their 70s, 80s and 90s. The amount of enthusiasm and Passion they had towards life, touched us. Merl says, at this age, when they have so much value and interest for life, why should I sit and worry. God gifted this life and I never questioned the good stuff. Why should I bother about the negatives? If this sickness wasn’t there, we wouldn’t have realized the value of life. May be, we would have been complaining about traffic and weather. May be, God uses me to bring this awareness to our society.

Some of our friends and family at the funeral told me that the smiling picture of Merlyn gave them a lot of pain. It’s true. Even the thought of Merl not being around physically, kills me, but this smile gives me strength. This particular picture was taken in a birthday party after a 2 day painful treatment. Pain is a relative term. Nobody can measure or rate pain unless we go through the situation. But, after a doctor discusses a life threating diagnosis, if someone stays positive, smiles every day and decides to live the moment. That Is Something.  Merl’s smile is a source of hope, a symbol of courage. The name Merlyn has a different meaning for me, going forward.  

Something on a lighter note!! Most men would definitely agree with me. We enjoy sharing and forwarding jokes about wife and marriage. We always give an irresponsible excuse that it’s just for fun. I understand we all respect our women. But these jokes actually hurt us; because I saw the pain and suffering that my Merl went through and on the other side, folks were laughing at jokes on wife/marriage. Any medical condition can have additional complications just because the patient is female. Women go through a lot of struggle emotionally, physically and biologically. Men are not even close. Things that our mom, sister, daughter, friends won’t trust us to discuss; only our wife does. There is a deeper meaning in marriage. We have joked about it enough. These jokes could create a negative impression about marriage and women to our future generations and younger crowd. So, I ask all my friends to take a pledge for Merlyn and stop sharing such jokes about marriage/wife on social media.  

One final request. If you are a registered stem cell donor, because of Merlyn, I want you to continue your registration. Please don’t quit the registry. There are thousands of fighters like Merl who are still waiting for a donor. I can't express how happy we were, when we heard from the doctors that Merlyn found a stem cell donor. Unfortunately, there were other complications that did not support us.

Merlyn is a strong believer, a real fighter, a true inspiration. And yes, definitely, the strongest girl I have ever seen in my real life.

Some of the expressions that excites Merl, 

#Stella  #Goodshe #PreethiHouse #Chennai #Maniratnam  #Newyork  #Broadway #Baking  #Biryani  #Dessert  #Darkchocolate… all this will continue to cheer me. This is definitely not a good bye. I will continue to live her dreams. I will continue to share my blessings.

It’s been the toughest 30 days of my life but trust me Merl, I am ok. Just following your footsteps.

It hurts only because I miss you… I miss your love and care. I miss cooking for you.

I miss the way you would jump like a puppy when I return home.

I miss how we laughed together for those dark jokes we cracked at hospitals.

I miss how we vented out our frustration from the medical reports by ordering the best desserts. 

And I miss taking care of you.

I am sure you are resting in peace, in a much better place, where pain and death has no meaning.

I personally thank every friend/family for being there for us, praying for us during this difficult time. Please continue your prayers.

If you wanna consider sharing your blessings, please register yourself @   

https://bethematch.org/   if you are in the US  or

http://datri.org/   if you are in India. 

Or Google (bonemarrow registry) for your country and register. 

Stem cell donation is just like blood donation and there is a possibility that you are the only person in the whole world who could save a life. If you are already a registered donor, please spread the word and inspire others to join. 

Merl Lives!!! 

- Merlyn & John.